A fine day in early summer, 2013.  I'm out bicycling on the trails in the city.  i get a phone call.  It's a very nice sounding young lady.  All the salespeople are nice sounding, nice looking young ladies.  She tell me that she's calling because I filled out an application online.  I did?  Okay, that is likely.  They have billboards that say OMAHALOVE.COM all over the city.  She chats me up.  After I give her my vitals; age, weight, income, blah blah, she tells me that she has lots of women in her files that would be interested in meeting a regular guy like me.  

  Well, that sounds nice.  I've been looking to date someone steady.  Or even not so steady.  I've used the local POF website but it's old to me.  And I've come to the point where I hate the bars.  So I'm open to a new way of meeting women.  I make an appointment to see her the next day.  My only instructions are; make a list of 5 things I must have in a woman, and 5 thing I cannot tolerate.